Just before I went to sleep I was trying to do some recapitulation. If you have read The Art of Dreaming by Carlos Castaneda you might know what this exercise is about.
It is one of the most difficult things to do in my opinion. It consists in reviewing one's life in order to successfully master awareness and energy. Carlos Castaneda explained that recapitulating an event starts with one's mind arranging everything pertinent to what is being recapitulated.
Arranging means reconstructing the event, piece by piece, starting by recollecting the physical details of the surroundings, then going to the person with whom one shared the interaction and then going to oneself, to examine one's feelings.
I realised that I have been trying to do this for most part of the year without success. I have a very good memory so recapitulation is the most complex thing that my mind can engage into. Harder than any math equation.
My mind wonders after a while and forgets about going into the next event or fails to see everybody in that event. I can normally manage to do this for about one hour and then either fall asleep if in bed, or realise that I was doing something wrong, so suddenly stop, get up and do something else.
I have even tried doing this eyes closed during my train journey but the journey is not long enough to recapitulate in full.
Last night while falling asleep I thought I might want to dream of recapitulating because it might just be easier in dreamland.
To my wonderful surprise I managed to recapitulate during my dream in one of my cycles!
I felt so very heavy, my body was heavier than usual and I felt I had used all my energy so I said to myself during my dream: I hope I can go to bed early because I need to sleep, my body needs some rest.
But after a few seconds I realised that I was already dreaming... usually when this happens I try my best to remain asleep and carry on dreaming... and I did! I went to bed in my dream, in my current bedroom and tried to fall asleep inside my dream but the fact that I have completed the recapitulation made me so happy that I got up and noticed a big white orb near the ceiling. I floated to the orb and asked what did it come to tell me. I shouted so loud in my dream that I woke up.
Once awake, I went to the bathroom and was a bit annoyed that I had woken up. In a flash I tried to remember everything in the dream so I could go back into the same scene.
Went back to sleep and this morning realised that I managed to go back inside the same dream, how amazing!
I went back to the orb, flying or floating. When my face just in front of it, slowly and without talking I thought of the recapitulation and how happy I was that I managed to review every single event in my life. Spontaneously the orb's thoughts were clear to me then. The orb with thoughts said to me: "now that you have recapitulated, who do you want to save? if you could save one thing."
I thought to myself: "What? I can't possibly save one! ONE!??? I love every single person I have met in my life. I thought for a few seconds and said: One thing, huh?
Well, "The Human Race" on and off planet.
To that I woke up.
I was so chuffed to have saved everyone, hahhaha... What a noble thought, I thought.
Later, when analysing the dream, this is my interpretation of it: to see an orb in a dream symbolises truth and a sudden understanding or realisation. I had clarity after recapitulating on my life events. The colour of the orb represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness and new beginnings. Perhaps referring to a fresh outlook on life. Then the fact that I was asked the question it could be my subconscious teasing me after thinking of everyone, in this kind of: well, who do I choose? My answer amuses me, because the orb seemed foreign and my thought is truly human trying to save her own species.
This was my sleep cycle last night:
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